5 tips of loyalty in marriage By Offra Gerstein, Ph.D
Rarely do partners worry about
each other’s loyalty, fidelity or
commitment during the infatuation and courtship stage of their relationship. It
is only when a relationship is more established that some individuals may shift
from being solely focused on each other and may inadvertently open the door for
their partner’s
search for validation elsewhere.
How can you reduce the chances of
your partner’s
disenchantment and increase the odds of preserving a truly committed and
mutually rewarding marriage for a lifetime?
1. Give Your Partner 3 Appreciations A Day.
Remember how often both of you
expressed your admiration for each other during your courtship? How naturally
you praised your partner for his/her looks, thoughts, feelings, exceptional
nature, behavior and outstanding traits? Do you recall what you said to your
friends and family about the new man/woman in your life?
Be assured that your partner still
possesses these attributes. The same endearing qualities you originally admired
in your spouse are still there and will be more frequently manifested when you
continue to positively affirm him/her.
Say, “Thank you for helping me with
this task. I have always admired your problem-solving skills.” Or, “I appreciate you for being such
a good parent, the kids are so lucky to have you as their Mom (or Dad).”
Receiving positive affirmations on
a daily basis makes the recipient feel valued, grateful and more solidly
committed.
2. Communicate daily with your spouse.
Make it a habit to talk to your
spouse every day about the small and large issues that concern one or both of
you. Designate an uninterrupted time, preferably at least 20-30 minutes, to
share information, discuss your thoughts and feelings, make mutual decisions,
and validate each other’s
emotions as you become more deeply bonded as a team.
Your children will learn to
respect “Mom and Dad’s private talk time.” If they are too young, schedule
your daily communication when they are asleep.
3. Share activities that please both of you.
Hike, camp, travel, do projects,
and spend time with friends and family, while you continue to pay special
attention to your bond as a couple. You should behave in a way that ensures
observers will identify you as a special pair whose bonded love is evident.
4. Keep your intimate life active and mutually satisfying.
Avoid getting so embroiled in your
life that your intimate relationship is relegated to a last place and
exhaustion reduces the frequency or quality of your physical relationship.
Recall how much energy, time and attention you paid to your intimate life during
courtship? You deserve to keep the same level of enthusiasm and pleasure
throughout your marriage to cement your physical bond and intimate connection.
5. Verbally declare your ongoing commitment to each other with conviction
and gratitude.
Frequently tell your spouse how
fortunate you feel to have been chosen by him/her. Enthusiastically point out
how special your marital bond is and how pleased you are with your union.
Periodically, ask your partner about his/her views of your relationship to determine
that your satisfaction is mutual and explore how it may be further enhanced.
Relationships always evolve but
using the tools above can keep your love alive and cement your marital
fidelity.
The
information contained on this blog is written based on my own empirical understanding
and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to
grow in knowledge and understanding, what I perceived as the truth will
definitely change, as a result of this – the information contained on this blog
may not reflect my current outlook. Therefore, I am not liable for any special,
direct, indirect, consequential, or incidental damages or any damages
whatsoever, arising out of or in connection with the contents of this blog.
Alex
Oduanam
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