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Possible Ways To Handle Misunderstandings, Arguments, Disagreements And Quarrels In A Relationship...


To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup, when you are wrong, admit, when you are right shut up. – Ogden Nash.

There is no relationship that is immune to misunderstandings, arguments, disagreements and quarrels. They will surely come and if they are not well handled they can disorganize things completely. That is why we need to examine them here and know how to prevent them from escalation.

For instance, a misunderstanding happens when one person misinterprets what the other person means, thereby leading to misinterpretation of actions and words. Feelings can be in such situations but once the matter is well explained it should be put behind maturely. Most times regular misunderstandings show that communication in the relationship is weak. In explaining to the other person what you really mean, the speaker must make the message or explanation clear enough to avoid any ambiguity. Active listening is a sure solution to this. To this end, the listener must restate the main idea of what they heard, and the speaker should either confirm or clarify it.

How about arguments? Some couples find themselves arguing about minor things over and over. They argue over a particular thing again and again yet it’s not resolved. Such persistent arguments can actually shake the foundation of a good relationship. So when there is a hot argument, it is advisable for the one who is mature at heart at the moment to keep quiet, because continuous argument if left unchecked can degenerate into a big fight which is capable of tearing things apart totally. To stop regular argument you need to sit down together and get to the root cause. After identifying the problem both parties must be willing to compromise to give up a particular habit that causes the argument. Humour or lovely laugh can also be used to diffuse tension during a hot argument after which you apologise for taking a different direction just for peace to reign whether you are at fault or not.

Looking at disagreements, they come when each person wants something different and can’t agree on it. Depending on your maturity level, a disagreement can be a quiet conversation or can become a full blown fight if not nipped in the bud. If one person always claims right in such a situation the problem will be further complicated. So, the best thing to do is for the one that is less provoked to keep quiet for the sake of peace. Compromise is also essential here. With compromise nobody is said to be 100% right or wrong.

Apart from the fact uncontrolled misunderstandings, arguments and disagreements can lead to serious quarrels, inability or unwillingness to meet immediate family needs can lead to serious verbal war. Quarrels can also be based on mis-conversation. Several things that cannot be fully accounted for here do lead to serious quarrels in relationships. For instance, inability or unwillingness to meet essential family needs can lead to such verbal wars, which if well employed, understanding and patience can salvage the situation. Quarrels that emanate from gossips and rumours can also be very dangerous to relationships. In this case one must apply caution because enemies of peace and progress may be at work. So, when someone reports your partner to you about unfaithfulness or cheating, you mustn’t jump into conclusion. Spend time to find out if the story is true or not if your partner is going out with another person.

Anyhow, peace is the greatest asset you need to run a successful relationship which is why you must pursue it. So, as mad as you may seem at the moment of misunderstandings, arguments, and quarrels, don’t forget that you have claimed to love each other and you are on the same team. The weapon of love and maturity should therefore be used to normalize the situation each time strange feelings come up. After all relationship are meant for mature people and not children. Apology and forgiveness must be exchanged each time offenses strike. In fact always be the first person to forgive and when one partner expresses apology or take responsibility for what has happened, the other person must not resist forgiveness. If hurtful things were said in the heat of the quarrel it is important for both parties to apologise to each other.
Finally, bear in mind that the three-word expression ‘’I am sorry’’ can save you from lots of marital problems if it is accordingly applied each time you unavoidably err.

The information contained on this blog is written based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow in knowledge and understanding, what I perceived as the truth will definitely change, as a result of this – the information contained on this blog may not reflect my current outlook. Therefore, I am not liable for any special, direct, indirect, consequential, or incidental damages or any damages whatsoever, arising out of or in connection with the contents of this blog.

Alex Oduanam



1 comment

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