THE POWER OF CLOSENESS: Understand the dangers and the effects of being too close with an opposite sex you are not dating or married to...

THE POWER OF CLOSENESS: UNDERSTAND THE DANGERS AND THE EFFECTS OF BEING TOO CLOSE WITH AN OPPOSITE SEX YOU ARE NOT DATING OR MARRIED TO…

It has become an anthem that if you ask a lady, she will ignorantly tell you that she prefer keeping guys as close friends than keeping their fellow ladies as close friends. You will see a lady all the time in the midst of guys playing, discussing and having fun as they may call it.

So many years ago, a rat ran to the cat and said to the cat; do you know I cannot keep my fellow rat as my close friend? Because in my absent my fellow rat can go to eat the food belonging to me. I want you cat to be my close friend. So the rat decided to keep cat as its closest friend. One day, the cat was very hungry and couldn’t bear it anymore. The cat said to itself, how can I be so hungry when I have rat with me as my close friend! So the cat decided to eat the rat to ease its hunger. After eating the rat, he regretted its action and said, please rat my very good friend, I am very sorry, I was very hungry and couldn’t bear it anymore. My fellow cat were abusing me every minute that am a fool, that how can I have food with me and still be complaining of hunger. That’s the reason I ate you, please forgive me it wasn’t intentional.

You see! The deed is done and the rat is no more, now the cat is regretting. Right from that day, the rats became very scared of the cats and sworn never to keep cats as close friends. Right from then, the rats and the cats became enemies…

What am I saying in essence? The rats learnt from the mistake made by one of them so many years ago. If you actually understood that story, you will know that this same thing is happening in our daily living. Don’t wait until it happens to you so that you will make the person your enemy. Try to learn from the mistakes of others and take caution.

I am totally not in support of a lady keeping guys as close friends. Except as a lady, you are interested in a particular guy and you would love to start a relationship with him and probably that’s the reason you are going close to know some things about him. Different things happen every day, ranging from a lady being raped by her close friend (guy), to a lady gang raped by five guys or thereabout. Why can’t our young ladies learn from the experience of others? I have talked one on one with different ladies on this regard, but some of them seem to be so adamant even when they have had this experience in the past, they cannot still sit down and think.

The gospel truth is that once you become very close to an opposite sex that you are not in a relationship with nor married to, it ignites intimacy, and it start growing to a point which you cannot control it. Before you know it, you have gotten yourself involved in what you never bargained for. If you are a lady, stay away from guys if you don’t want to be sexually harassed and you end up becoming a sex toy or sex slave to a man. Even if you are interested in him, and you feel you should go close to know more about him. You still have to know your boundaries and be very careful with the things you do.

It has gotten to the point where you ladies have to protect yourselves from even your family relations and family friends that are opposite sex. Because these days we hear; uncle raping niece, family friend raping their friends daughter, brother raping sister, even father raping daughter. 

Men are turning themselves into animals these days – not because they intentionally want to do these things but because of what I call ‘’THE POWER OF CLOSENESS’’. Don’t underestimate the power of closeness. Don’t say you know yourself that such thing cannot happen. Or he is just my friend I cannot develop any feelings for him. Feelings and emotions cannot be hidden for so long provided there’s constant closeness.

Naturally as a lady, you might want to keep a particular guy due to the signs of maturity and responsibility you’ve seen him portray. What you should know is that feelings and emotions are no respecter of man. They can creep into your friendship at any time and begins to glow and rekindle by day. What you should be aware of are;

1)      The power of closeness binds you two together. Sometimes you can’t spend a day without seeing each other. You communicate often on calls, chart on social media, and send text messages. You go to the movies together, hang out together at bars, eateries and beach, you share virtually everything in common. You become so close to the point that you share your hidden secretes together. You call yourselves on phone first thing and the morning and at nights before going to bed. My friend stop; you are friends and not lovers. Am not saying friends shouldn’t have good times together, but there should be a limit, it shouldn’t be a routine or daily activity. Because once you start making it a routine, you are indirectly trying to invite something in between you two, and something must definitely grow. People even start accusing you two that you are dating. (What were you expecting?) But you try as much as you can to make them believe that there’s nothing between you two, that you two are just closed. But you become very worried if you do not hear from each other for a moment. My brothers and sisters, intimacy has grown between you two. Sometimes the feelings might not be for both sides. One of you might just start developing feelings for each other. If the lady lucky enough to get this feeling, and if she is wise enough she will know how to limit the closeness likewise the guy. But if the lady doesn’t want to put a stop to it, things can still go smoothly, from what I know, she will use her woman power to seduce the guy, and because they are good friends already, they ‘’MAY’’ become good lovers. I used the word may because it doesn’t happen like that all the time, they guy might have someone else he loves, you know what I mean.

But if it is the guy that starts developing feelings for the lady, he will try his possible best to let the lady know. If she agrees, fine, but if she doesn’t, two things are involved; 1) a wise and responsible guy will simply start controlling his feelings towards the lady and possibly starts keeping distance. 2) If he is a selfish and a desperate type of a guy, refusing his proposal will make him deploy other strategies to get the lady and will not let her walk away from him. He might end up raping her. If you are lucky enough that he cannot rape you, he will make sure he makes your life a living hell. He will swear to himself, if he cannot get you no other man will. And you start living in fears. He becomes so obsessed with you that he attacks every man he sees with and make sure he ends every relationship you have with any other man. Then you watch your most loveable friend gradually becomes your worst nightmare. What do you think causes this mess? ‘’The power of closeness’’ Now is the time to take caution…

2)      Power of closeness breaks relationships and even marriages. You are in a serious relationship, yet you are fond of keeping a particular opposite sex as a close friend as you may call it. You are always seen around this fellow, when you are asked or queried by your partner or friends, you tell them that this fellow is just a friend. (Just friend indeed). You become so blind to notice that this your so – called friendship is affecting your relationship with your partner. My brothers and sisters, one of you will one day to realize that you are developing emotional feelings for this fellow. What then do you think will happen to your long built relationship? So please my dear, if you don’t want to experience any of these things pointed out in this article, stay away from an opposite sex so you don’t end up regretting and hatting yourself at the end.

Thank you for reading.

DISCLAIMER

The information contained on this blog is written based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow in knowledge and understanding, what I perceived as the truth will definitely change, as a result of this – the information contained on this blog may not reflect my current outlook. Therefore, I am not liable for any special, direct, indirect, consequential, or incidental damages or any damages whatsoever, arising out of or in connection with the contents of this blog.

Alex Oduanam

www.alexoduanam.blogspot.com