Who is a Guider? Do you wish to be a Guider? Read the Top Ten Indispensable Qualities of a Good Guider...

Something actually gave me the inspiration to embark on writing this article. I was in a friend’s place; I went to see him regarding his NYSC posting. When I saw him, he wasn’t happy at all because he was posted to serve in the northern part of Nigeria, Bauchi state to be précised. And the father did not have up to fifty thousand naira (N50, 000) to give him to work his posting and come back to any of the southern states because of the insurgency in the north. So he was so unhappy, discouraged and devastated. I had to talk to him and advised him in my own little way, trying to put to him that there’s nothing wrong serving in the north. Who knows there may be good reasons why he is posted to the north, that myself I served in the north, and during my stay there I learnt a lot of new things. That God actually wants to expose him and open his eyes to new things that he shouldn’t oppose the will of God in his life. All the while we were discussing I didn’t know that his father was standing by the corner of the house enjoying our conversation. Just imagine what would have happened to me if I was advising him wrongly, I would have become and remain a bad friend to that family. Not too long the father came out and was just gazing at me, smiling and he looked very happy. Then he called me, ‘’my son’’ and I answered yes sir, he now said to me ‘’you are truly a guider’’. Then I responded to him ‘’Ah no sir!  I am not a guider o’’. without let him say another word, I told him that I don’t even know much about this MMM of a thing o, that am just an ordinary participant, that I just joined before they went on break and our mavros frozen, that I have not even gotten help since I joined (hmm funny right? MMM wahala). The man was just looking at me with so much smile on his face and I was busy fooling myself with MMM wahala. So he said to me that he wasn’t talking about MMM, he said he was very impressed with the way I was able to speak with Maxwell his son. He now turned to the son and told him that all I was telling him is nothing but the gospel truth that he should listen to what his friend that is me was telling him. To cut the long story short. That was when I realized that you must not be in MMM before you become or see yourself as a guider. Who then is a guider???

WHO IS A GUIDER?

A guider is said to be a person who leads others to more abstract goals such as knowledge or wisdom. (A guider is a person who leads travellers or tourist through unknown or unfamiliar locations – Wikipedia). Could this be the reason why Maxwell’s father called me guider? Let’s continue.  In other words, a guider is anyone, that is to say any man or woman, boy or girl that can lead, or have the ability to direct or show the right way out of an unknown situation or unfamiliar locations.

 Do you know that there are people that swallow whatever situation they are going through in life which may actually need someone to guide or counsel them but they couldn’t get someone to show them the way out, and due to one thing or the other, maybe fear or shame they die in their silence? Some people end up committing suicide because they are not outspoken. They find it very difficult to talk to someone about whatever is bordering them.

If you are opportune to see someone or people that are able to open up to you about what is bordering them and the difficulties they go through in life, please guide and counsel them. Or will you tell them you are not a guider? Even the Bible teaches us that we are all watchmen to one another. You might not really know what the person has seen in you, and what it took that person to summon courage to walk up to you and open up the challenges he or she is going through. Please I urge you today, if you have such an opportunity, do not wave it away. Do your little best to guide and counsel that individual positively because you may not know the next negative attempt in his or her mind. If you do this, you have successfully saved a life and your father in heaven will be happy with you for making good use of his (God) given talents and potentials in you to save a life.

You must not occupy a given position in a firm or in an association before you can become a guider. It is not until you study and graduate from a special school known as guiders school before you can guide as we see in MMM. I found out that MMM guiders only guide and counsel participants in MMM only on issues regarding the scheme because they have their given percentage or bonus on that. Any issues outside the scheme count them out.

Know it today that you’ve already been made a guider and a watch man to one another even before you were formed in your mother’s womb. Make good use of that your God given abilities in you positively and not only when it comes to gossiping. Even if the person needs a spiritual guider. We all belong to one denomination and the other, one religion and the other. And we all have our spiritual heads in this regard. You are in the right position to direct this person to the right place. Weather the person is looking for a financial guider, relationship guider, marriage guider, legal guider or what have you. There are trained professionals in these areas. In a situation whereby you cannot handle it further, you don’t need to discourage or deceive this person. All you have to do is to direct this person to an appropriate place where he/ she can seek guidance or counseling. In so doing, you’ve successfully played your own role as a guider.

THE TOP 10 INDISPENSABLE QUALITIES OF A GOOD GUIDER.

1.       PORTRAY THE ATTRIBUTES OF A LEADER: Live a life worth emulating. Let your counselee see you like someone he/she can always talk to anytime, someone that can protect his/her interest. Be responsible in your looks, dressing, and attitude etc. you have to be honest and sincere in whatever you do. Don’t place yourself too high from the reach of others. Always treat everyone equally. In doing these, someone might actually be watching you from a distance and you may not know. Let somebody have the confidence to recommend you to somebody that might need your help, and always make sure you try your best in carrying everybody along.

2.       BE VERY RESPONSIVE: As a guider, you must be very responsive. Always make sure you answer your calls. Don’t put off your cell phones because you know that Mr. A, or Mrs. B always call to ask for your advice. Don’t ignore your calls claiming to be very busy, if you miss a call do well to call back. Don’t instruct your wife or children or even your guard to lie to a counselee that you are not in or that you are sleeping simply because you don’t want to attend the person. The truth is that you may not really know what this individual has seen in you that is making him/her to always want to confide in you. Always make sure reply your text messages and chats, that may be the available medium that person have to reach out to you for counsel, guide or advise.

3.       BE MATURED: what I mean is; show some signs of maturity. Maturity is not a matter of age, size nor height. It has to do with the quality of thinking and behaving in a sensible adult manner no matter how old you are, or whether you are big or small. In fact, I define maturity ‘’as the ability to handle a given situation at a particular period of time’’. So as a guider, you must behave in a sensible adult manner not regarding your age. I can remember vividly a day I spoke with my dad about something, he looked at me and said ‘’you talk like your grandfather’’. Why do you think he said that? He said that because my grandfather was a very wise man. Not regarding my age he still said I talked like my grandfather.

4.       BE PATIENT: Patience they say is a virtue. Don’t be too much in haste; don’t rush the person that is talking to you. Give the person time to explain his or her ordeal to you. it is very necessary to wait let the person relate everything to you. Don’t let him feel you are not interested in whatever he/she is saying. Don’t cut him or her short simply because you want them to summarize quickly and leave. Take some time with them and let them feel they have somebody like you they can always confide in.

5.       BE A GOOD LISTENER: Always pay good attention to whatever your counselee is saying. Don’t make them feel they are just saying rubbish by not listening, it is only when you listen to them you can know the best way to advice and guide them. Don’t just predict by beginning to ask them questions. Listen to them first and hear them out, only then will you know the right question to ask.

6.       DON’T BLAME YOUR COUNSELEE DIRECTLY: What I mean by not blaming your counselee directly is; don’t tell they that they are the cause of their current situation. Don’t tell them it’s their fault depending on the situation at hand. Provide more of solution, counsel, and guide than issuing blames on them.

7.       DON’T BE TOO EMOTIONAL: Don’t pour out your bad feelings on them no matter what. Tell them what they can possibly do to get out of that situation. Apply emotional intelligence when talking with them. Always assure them that everything will be fine, thereby giving them hope. Don’t go telling them that nothing can be done. Don’t go telling about someone you know that was in the same situation that died due to the situation. Don’t start crying for them because what they tell you, they might start thinking there’s no more hope. Be strong so you can be able to guide and counsel them, you might not know the next agenda in their minds when they leave your presence, so don’t pour out your bad feelings or tell them the worse things that has happened to people in the past due to they were suffering from the same situation

.

8.       BE A TEACHER TO YOUR COUNSELEE: Teach them most of the things you feel they need to know which you’ve observed that they are not aware of that you know could lead to future occurrence. Teach them some positive ways to live their lives. Teach them how to apply some certain things in their lives which you found out they did not do or applied them rightly which landed them in their present situation. Teach them the basic rules of life that could make them avoid certain things happening to them. A good teacher they say is a good guider. Sometimes you use your personal life experience to teach and guide them. Experience they say is the best teacher.

9.       BE REAL: Don’t base your discussion on fallacies. Give instances, make references. Don’t just assume, be specific and be real in whatever you are saying. Don’t be deceitful and don’t make them start having the feelings that you are deceiving them. Don’t use deceitful words that might mislead them. Don’t engage in an unnecessary argument which professes to be decisive of the matter at issue while in reality it is not. Be real and responsible.

10.   USE LOOSE OR SIMPLE LANGUAGE: Don’t go and start speaking grammar or use high vocabularies to end up confusing the person the more. Use the language you know the person will understand. If the person understands English, please use simple English to address and guide the person.

Please note that there are so many qualities of a good guider, just trying to bring this few to your understanding. And if you are opportune to occupy a given position in any organization, know it that you are there to guide those that might not know the right thing or right place to go. So please do well to guide these ones and not allow them to go and fall into wrong hands due to your rude nature and nonchalant attitudes. Be friendly and nice to everyone.

Thank you for reading.

DISCLAIMER

The information contained on this blog is written based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow in knowledge and understanding, what I perceived as the truth will definitely change, as a result of this – the information contained on this blog may not reflect my current outlook. Therefore, I am not liable for any special, direct, indirect, consequential, or incidental damages or any damages whatsoever, arising out of or in connection with the contents of this blog.

Alex Oduanam

www.alexoduanam.blogspot.com