SAY NO TO RAPE: Safety Tips on how to prevent a potential rape - with pictures...

HOW TO PREVENT A POTENTIAL RAPE...

Source: Wiki...

Rapists are predators. Period. By following these steps, you

can try to make your world a little safer from those predators.

You will get information and skills you need to protect

yourself psychologically and physically. Remember, although

being aware of your surroundings and knowing how to defend

yourself is important, rape is ultimately the rapist's fault, not

the victim's. This article is not meant to justify a rapist's

actions in any way—it simply provides tips that can help you

feel safer. In an ideal world, the best way to prevent a

potential rape is to educate all members of both sexes to

respect and help each other. However, being informed can

also go a long way in helping you avoid dangerous situations.

Part One of Four:

Setting the Record Straight.

1. Know that nothing you do will ever make rape your

fault. Before you even start thinking about

preventing a potential rape, you have to understand that

if you are raped, it is 100% the rapist's fault, and that

nothing you did, wore, or said could have caused you to

be raped. There is no such thing as "asking for it," and

anyone who leads you to believe otherwise is deeply

misguided. Though you can certainly take measures to

improve your chances of avoiding danger and staying

safe, in the end, nothing you can do can "cause" you to

be raped.

2. Understand that the best thing that can be done to

prevent rape is to prevent people from raping. In

today's culture, there are many things that can be done to

prevent rape, and it starts with the way women are

perceived. If we work, as a society, to raise men who are

respectful of women and stop contributing to a culture

that objectifies and belittles women constantly, then we

can slowly start to turn things around. Sometimes,

adolescent boys think "rape jokes" are funny and that it's

okay to joke around about sexual assault, and it's

important to let them know that this is not the case. Men

can also be raped, but society has taken into itself that

men "can't possibly be raped", and so most men are

ashamed and afraid if they speak out.

Many people feel that giving women guidelines

about things that can be done to stay safe actually

shames them and makes them feel like avoiding

rape is all about having women act "the right way,"

and that if they make a misstep, it is basically their

fault that they got raped. This is the intention of this

article. This article intends to empower women by

giving them some sensible advice on how to avoid

danger. However, women are not the only sex to be

raped. Men can be raped, but it just isn't as

prevalent. Society doesn't believe "petite little

women" can rape "big strong men", and yet it still

happens.

3. Don't ever stop living your life. It can be

overwhelming to read the advice about preventing

rape. You'll start to feel like there's no place you're safe --

not your grocery store parking lot, not a restroom at a

bar, not your car, and not even your own home. You

might start to wonder where one can go to be completely

safe from rapists. But you can't think like this. Though

you should take some precautions, you can't be afraid to

leave home by yourself, to be outside late at night, or to

go to some of your favorite places. You can still enjoy

your life and feel secure without the constant paranoia

that you may feel after reading about how to prevent

rape.

4. Know that the majority of rapes are committed by

a person the victim knows. The statistics vary, but

it is said that only 9%-33% of rapists were complete

strangers to the victim. This means that the vast

majority of women are raped by men that they know,

whether they are friends, people they are dating, co-

workers, acquaintances, or even family members. This

means that it's far more likely for a person to get raped

by someone he/she knows instead of a stranger in a dark

alley. Therefore, while it's important to take precautions

when you're alone, you shouldn't completely let your

guard down when you're with people you know.

When you're in a social situation with someone you

know, be extra careful and don't fully let your guard

down unless you feel truly safe with the person.

Even then, rape can occur. Know that if your gut

tells you the situation is not okay, you should leave

as soon and as safely as you can.

Date rape is also extremely common -- according to

one study, nearly 1/3 of rapes are committed by a

date. When you're dating someone new,

understand that no absolutely means no, and don't

ever let anyone make you feel guilty about knowing

what you do and don't want. Don't be afraid to

communicate your needs clearly and loudly, if

necessary.

Part Two of Four:

Staying Safe in Social Situations

1. Be aware of your surroundings at all times. Parking

lots and parking garages are two of the sites that

are most often targeted by attempted rapists. These

people are predators, so view your surroundings

carefully. If you are in a parking lot and feel someone is

following you, start making noise -- talk to yourself

loudly, talk to an imaginary person, or pretend to talk on

your cell phone. The louder the potential victim, the more

the predator is apt to freeze. 

Scope out your surroundings during the day.

Whether you're working in a new place or new to

campus, make sure you learn the safest way to

walk from place to place. This means staying under

well-lit lights, walking in places where people tend

to be around, and even being near blue light

emergency call boxes, if your campus has them.

1. If you're in college, know that the majority of rapes

happen during the first few weeks of the year.

According to the Department of Justice, the majority of

rapes in college occur during the first few weeks of your

freshman and sophomore years. These are the riskiest

days because people are just getting to know each other,

there are a lot of new people around, along with an

abundance of alcohol. Though this shouldn't keep you

from having fun or leaving your dorm room, you should

be extra cautious about meeting new people, and make

sure that you stick with your friends and your sound

judgment.

3.Don't leave your drink unattended. Treat your drink

like a $100.00 bill. Don't let anyone hold your drink.

Avoid anything that somebody gives you. It could be

"counterfeited." Always hold, keep and get your own

drinks. Keep your hand over the top of your drink because

it's easy to drop something into it. Do not accept a drink

from a date unless the bartender or waitstaff delivers it

straight to you. Even if you're pretty sure the drink you

left on the other side of the room was your drink, it's a

much safer bet to buy or get another one.

4. Drink responsibly. Again, this does not mean that

drinking irresponsibly makes it your fault if a rapist

approaches you; it does, however, make you more

vulnerable and susceptible to unwelcome attacks. Make

sure not to drink more than 1 drink per hour (which

means a glass of wine, a beer, or one shot of alcohol)

and to stay in control of your mind and body as much as

you can. Do not opt for the sketchy punch or jungle juice

in a frat house; do not let anyone who is not a bartender

make you a mixed drink because it is likely to be very,

very strong.

5. Stick with your friends. Wherever you go, show up

with a group of friends and leave with that group of

friends. Even if you and your friends have ended up at

different parts of the party, always know where your

friends are and make sure that they see where you are,

too. Keep in touch with your friends, make eye contact,

and make sure you're on the same page. Your friends

should have your back if they see you with a person

whose company you don't want, and you should do the

same. Don't leave your friend out with a person he/she's

met for the first time, either, especially if there has been

alcohol involved.

6. Stay safe at clubs. Clubs may be so loud that

people may not hear you cry for help. If you're out

at a club, make sure you stick with your friends, go to the

bathroom in packs, and that your friends know where you

are at all times.

7. Be assertive. If somebody is giving you unwanted

attention, tell them to back off. There is no need to

be polite when somebody is making unwanted sexual

advances. Firmly tell the person thanks, but no thanks,

you're not interested. This may be more difficult if it's

someone you actually know and care about, but it will

still be possible. Once you get the message across, the

person will be much more likely to move on.

8. Keep personal information private. Don't advertise

your info verbally or on the Internet. Also, be very

wary of meeting up with anyone whom you meet on the

Internet. There is very rarely a good reason to meet up

with a person whom you have never met in person, or

who talks you into meeting-up when you are hesitant. If

you think you must do so, bring someone else, preferably

a friend who is older and meet the person in a public

place.

9. Always keep your phone charged. Don't step out

with an almost-dead phone. It can be your saving

grace, whether you need to call the cops or call your

friends and ask them for help. Make sure you do this

before you step out for the night, whether you're alone or

with friends. You can even make a habit of bringing a

charger out with you if you tend to forget it.

Part Three of Four:

Staying Safe When You're Alone

1. Be careful about using technology when you're out

alone. Let's get this straight: you should not stop

enjoying your life or doing the things you love to do

because of fear that you're going to be raped and

assaulted. If you love running with your iPod in, then fine,

but be extra careful and look around your surroundings at

all times, trying to run near where the people are. If

you're walking in a dark parking garage or parking lot,

then stay focused on where you need to go instead of

playing around with your iPod or your iPhone.

Attackers look for the weakest victims. If they see

that you are highly vigilant and walking with

purpose, they will be less likely to attack you than if

you're texting and not looking where you're going,

or rocking out to your new favorite song on your

iPod.

2. Learn to trust your gut instincts. If you feel uneasy

or unsure in any way, it is in your best interest to get

away and get help. Use your instincts and be aware of

your freeze instinct. If you're in a situation where you're

alone and suddenly run into or see someone else who

just makes you feel unsafe, then change action as quickly

as possible. If you're really getting the sense that you're

unsafe, then it's important to stay calm, move quickly,

and to go to the place where you're the most likely to

find other people. 

If you're walking down a dark street and have the

feeling that the person behind you is following you,

cross the street in a diagonal and see if he/she

does the same. If so, then walk towards the middle

of the street (but not so much that you can get hit

by a car) so that you're more likely to be seen by an

oncoming car that could help you and scare away

the potential attacker.

3.Don't cut your hair just to deter a rapist. Sure, a lot

of people will tell you that rapists go for people with

long hair or ponytails because they are easier to grab

onto. Does this mean you should rock the short-haired

bob so people are less likely rape you? Of course not.

(Unless you want short hair, of course.) Don't let a

potential rapist deter you from looking how you want to

look, and don't ever blame yourself for attracting the

wrong kind of person.

4. Don't change your dressing style to deter rapists.

Okay, so many people will tell you that you're more

likely to get raped if you wear clothes that will be easier

to remove, or to "cut away" with a pair of scissors. This

includes thin skirts, thin cotton dresses, and other light

and short clothing. They'll say that wearing overalls,

jumpsuits, and rompers are the best, and so are pants

that have zippers instead of elastic waists. They'll also

say that belts keep your clothes in place, that layers help

deter rapists, and so on. While this may not be exactly

false, you shouldn't have to feel like you need to wear

bulky overalls, combat boots, or scuba gear to avoid

getting raped. In the end, it's up to you to decide what

you want to wear, and you shouldn't feel like the light

clothes you're wearing are making you more "prone" to

rape. 

Some people will also say that dressing

provocatively invites rapists. Avoid this kind of anti-

humanist thinking as much as you can.

5.Carry defensive items only if you know how to use

them. Remember, any "weapon" that could hurt a

potential attacker can be used against you if you are not

well trained and comfortable with it. If you are going to

carry a handgun, make sure to take classes in its use,

practice often at a firing range, and apply for a concealed

weapons permit; if you carry a knife, take a course in the

most effective way to use it. Remember that even an

umbrella or purse can be used as a weapon against an

attacker, and has less chance of being turned against

you.

6.Yell, shout, and draw attention to yourself.

Attackers usually have an idea of how the attack

will happen. Disrupt that idea. Fight like a furious cat, and

yell loudly and strongly.

7.Yell "CALL 911 NOW" (or whatever your local

emergency number is). Yelling this can have the

double effect of scaring away the attacker and getting

over people involved. If you yell these words, people

around you or nearby are likely to come running to your

aid. Studies have also suggested this effective strategy:

pointing at an individual bystander and saying "you sir, in

the white shirt, I need your help now! This man is

attacking me..." Tell it like it is, and point to an individual.

Some studies show that yelling "Fire!" instead of

"Help!" or "Call 911!" can actually be more effective

in getting the attention of bystanders. You can try

this tactic as well, but others feel that it may be

difficult to remember to yell fire instead of to call

for help in the moment.

8.Take a basic self defense course. One course you

can take is called Rape Aggression Defense (RAD).

Contact your local police office for programs such as

RAD. These programs can teach you many effective

methods of attack, from hitting to eye gouging. Having

these skills under your belt will make you feel more safe

when you're walking alone at night. 

9.Learn "SING". This stands for Solar Plexus-Instep-

Nose-Groin, the four attack points you should focus

on if grabbed from behind. Elbow them in the solar

plexus, stomp on the foot as hard as you can, and when

they let go, turn around and jam the palm of your hand

into their nose in an upward motion, then finish with a

knee to the groin. This may disable your assailant long

enough for you to get away.

10. Walk into your house with confidence. Don't dilly

dally in your car or stand on the street rifling

through your purse. Leave your car with everything you

need. Practice being careful when going into your house

or car because someone could easily push you in and

lock the door behind you. Be aware of your surroundings;

carry your keys ready in your hand and look around you

before opening the door.

11. Walk like you know where you're going. Look up

as you walk and stand up straight; pretending as

though you have two big panthers on either side of you

as you walk may sound silly, but it can help boost

confidence. Attackers are more likely to go for those who

they think cannot defend themselves. If you look weak or

like you're not sure where you're going, you're much more

likely to catch an attacker's attention. Even if you really

are lost, don't walk as if you are.

12. Notice and leave identifying marks. A large bite

mark on their face, punctured eyeball, deeply

scratched leg, ripped out piercing etc. is easily

identifiable, as are memorable tattoos, etc. Think kill. Go

for weak spots like eyes (poke hard), nose (hard upward

motion with the lower part of your open hand) genitals

(grab really tightly and squeeze or punch hard) etc. to

make sure the person's hands aren't free to punch or hold

on to you and you can run for it.

If you are in a place where you can't run, notice

your surroundings and leave a mark on them if you

can. Rapists have been caught because their

victims left identifiable teeth marks, nail marks, or

DNA in the cars or rooms where they were

assaulted.

13. Make eye contact if you are being followed by

someone who may be a potential threat. An

attacker may be less likely to strike if they think you will

be able to clearly identify them. Though you may be

scared and this may feel like the last thing you want to

do, it could ensure your safety.

Part Four of Four:

Keeping Other People Safe

1. Don't be afraid to intervene. Sticking up for other

people can go a long way toward preventing

potential rape. It's not always easy to intervene in

uncomfortable situations, but it's worth the awkwardness

when you stand the chance to prevent rape from

occurring.

2. Watch the potential victim. For example, if you're at

a party and you see a person trying to make a

move on your friend who's intoxicated, walk over and

make it clear you're keeping an eye on him/her. Find an

excuse to insert yourself into the situation.

• "I brought you some water."
• "Do you want to get some air?"
• "Are you doing okay? Would you like me to stay with you?"
• "I love this song! Let's go dance."
• "My car is out back. Would you like a ride home?"
• "JESSI! Oh my gosh, it's been so long! How have you been?" (This works even on strangers. Unlessthey're too drunk to understand, they'll happily play along in order to get rid of the predator.)

3. Address the potential rapist. You may wish to

confront them, or simply distract them.

• "Leave her alone. She can hardly stand on her own. My friends and I will walk her home."
• "Hey, he said no. He's clearly not into it."
• "Excuse me, sir? Your car is being towed."

4.Get backup if you need help dealing with the

situation. Just having a few people present could

be enough to deter someone from attempting rape. 

• Tell the host or bartender what is going on.
• Enlist friends (your own, or friends of one of the parties).
• Call campus safety, tell a security guard, or call the police.

5. Create a disturbance. If you don't know what else

to do, bring a social gathering to a halt. Turn off the

lights, or turn off the music. This can distract or

embarrass the would-be rapist, and call attention to the

fact that something is wrong.

6. Don't leave your friends behind at parties. If you go

to a party with a friend, don't leave the person

behind when you're ready to go. Leaving someone

behind, especially with a group of people who are just

acquaintances or strangers, puts that person in a

vulnerable position. This is especially true when there are

alcohol or drugs involved at the party.

Before you leave, locate your friend and see how

she's doing. Don't leave unless you're confident the

situation is safe and she'll be able to get home

without a problem.

If your friend seems drunk or on her way to getting

there, see if you can convince her to come home.

If she refuses, stay at the party until she's ready to

go.

7. Use a buddy system to make sure everyone gets

home safely. Taking a simple precaution like having

everyone text each other when they're back home is a

good way for friends to protect one other. For example, if

you meet up late at a coffee shop and your friend bikes

home in the dark, exchange texts or call each other

when you're home. If you don't hear from your friend, find

out what's going on.

8. Speak up if you know someone to be a rapist. If

your friend is about to go on a date with someone

you know to be a rapist, saying something about it is the

right thing to do. Whether there are rumors going around

that the person raped someone, or you have firsthand

knowledge on the matter, you don't want the person to

be able to hurt someone else.

If you were personally attacked by the person in

question, it's up to you to decide whether you want

to publicly "out" the rapist. It's undoubtedly a very

brave act, but your life will be deeply affected by

your decision, so it's not a choice most people

make lightly. 

However, even if you don't want to make things

public, warning people you know against spending

time alone with the person will help prevent

potential rape.

9. Do your part to get rid of rape culture. This is

important for women, but it may be even more

important for men. Preventing potential rapes ultimately

depends on educating people on rape and taking a stand

against it. Even when it's just you and the guys, don't say

degrading things about women or make jokes about rape .

When men see other men empathizing with women, they

may be more likely to do the same themselves...